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WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR LGBT AMISH?

5/2/2019

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Will we see advancements within the Amish community when it comes to recognizing and acknowledging the existence of queer members?
Will we see a softening approach to LGBT former members?
And how can we assist or help?

Most of us who were raised within the community have a hard time seeing how the future will change, and that is heartbreaking.
​
Historically, the way that change has come about in other religious communities and in culture at large has been through dialogue. The Amish famously shut down dissenting voices.

So how do we move forward?
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I think the first step is to acknowledge the reality on the ground. We should understand that there are obstacles for those who do leave and we can work hard to make sure they have the resources and support that they need after walking away from their homes.
The support available for former Amish people who have left the community is often religious and homophobic. When someone reaches out to us we try to connect them to a local LGBT support group as well as practical assistance with things like acquiring proper ID to work and opportunities to continued education or financial and housing support. How about those who have made a decision to stay?
The biggest thing we can do it's to provide them an outlet to be heard. There's something very powerful in knowing that there are others walking in your shoes.
We as an organization and individuals have to recognize the risks that many are taking by reaching out to anyone.
Often people who stay have a desire to be rid of what makes them feel different. We always have to remember not to be judgemental about the path others will take to live their most comfortable, fulfilling lives.
We celebrate the part of Amish culture that enriches the lives of those that stay and endeavor to provide a space for them to have a voice.
As there has been more intermingling between the Amish world and the outside world there may be some opportunities in the future to help normalize LGBT people in the eyes of Amish people. Despite the pop-culture Characterization, they do not live in a complete vacuum. They are aware of the tectonic changes of the day.
Often that provides more pushback but not always.


We would be happy and excited to hear other people's suggestions on how we might be able to affect change for LGBT Amish persons!


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Thoughts on Shunning

4/28/2019

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In a recent interview and in conversation with non-Amish friends, I have had a hard time communicating how devastating the practice of shunning can be. The practice is often used as emotional and spiritual abuse.
Imagine being a teenager or young adult considering leaving the Amish community... often with only an 8th grade education and no money saved up (Amish kids usually must hand their paychecks over to the family until they are 18)
The most isolated groups have little connection to the outside world.
Where would you sleep if you were leaving?
Where would you find a job without even a GED?
How would you physically leave?
These issues are only amplified if you are a woman. Or struggling with your sexuality.

My leaving was relatively painless, but I hear many stories from kids fleeing in the middle of the night. They have a complete extraction plan ready... They get picked up after dark, car lights off and are quickly whisked off.
They know the emotional blackmail will come shortly. I have seen some of the letters that these kids have recieved from their parents and bishops. Threats of eternity in Hell and telling them they are endangering their younger siblings souls as well.
It is devastating to the psyche.
Combined with the practical obstacles it is no wonder that ~90% of Amish born people stay in the community for life... (Many also love the life and faith and have no desire to leave)
There is some good news! More of the moderate groups are relying less and less on manipulations and shunning and are maintaining relationships with those that leave.

But it is very difficult to leave, we should resist the urge to expect ppl make those sacrifices.
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Dear Dad: We’ve Been Gay for a Really Long Time

3/21/2017

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www.nytimes.com/2016/10/02/fashion/modern-love-mennonite-father-gay-siblings.html?_r=0
​Mary Alice Hostetter on coming out to her Mennonite father.
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Mennonites struggle to agree with each other on same-sex marriage

8/7/2015

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Sect balks at LGBT rights, even as some individual churches and members embrace them.
Follow the link for more...
  by Kevin Williams - Al Jazerra America
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HUGE DAY AT THE SIXTH CIRCUIT

8/6/2014

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Big day for marriage equality! A conservative federal court in Ohio will consider 6 cases seeking marriage rights in Ohio, Kentucky, Michigan, and Tennessee. Oral arguments are scheduled for 1 pm. Follow along on twitter with #6thCircuit
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LGBT AMISH @ MICHIGAN PRIDE 8/23 !!!!

8/6/2014

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LGBT Amish will be shown support at Michigan Pride this year! We will be represented on the float of the fabulous Miss Kalamazoo Pride LaDonna Divine. #nooneleftbehind

Thanks, Miss Divine and James Schwartz....

Updates and photos to follow.

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the amish closet

8/6/2014

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What happens when a man discovers he’s gay but the culture he is raised in doesn’t address sexuality, much less homosexuality? James Schwartz, an LGBT poet and writer who grew up in an Amish community in Michigan, gives Sensa Nostra an inside look at what it’s like to grow up gay in a world where gender roles are strict and marriage between a man and woman is seen as an imperative.


Read More
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OUTSUPPORT.ORG  (MEDINA, OHIO)

8/5/2014

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Hello LGBT friends and allies. We wanted to introduce you to an ongoing support group for the LGBT community and their friends, family and allies that meets once a month in Medina Ohio. Here are the details. We'd love it if you came to join us! Invite your families and friends! We warmly welcome the Amish and ex-Amish communities! http://outsupport.org/meetings-map You can print a map and flyer here. Come join us. Our meetings are the 4th Monday of every month  Your friends at OutSupport.org
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LGBTAMISH updates

2/28/2014

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We are excited to be invited to speak on queer Amish issues at the PFLAG Ohio state conference!
Jeffrey Garris will be presenting on behalf of our organization.  We also have several interviews and features lined up in the near future. Thank you for your support and check back for updates!
                                                                                                   -Thaddeus-
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The Slippery Slope of Hyperbole  (op-ed by Jeffrey Garris)

5/28/2013

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SAVANNAH, GA - May 28, 2013

Opponents of gay marriage say that it is in the best interest of the family, the state, the nation and humanity itself to protect the traditional definition of marriage as a strictly procreative institution between one man and one woman. They say redefining the word “marriage” at a state or federal level will undermine the purpose of marriage itself and (somehow) devalue existing heterosexual marriages. Furthermore, opponents say allowing same-sex couples to marry will inevitably lead to state-sanctioned polygamy, incest and bestiality.

Now, I am no biologist—how exactly does redefining marriage as a union between one person and one person lead to polygamy, incest or bestiality? That depends on the definition of person, some could say. Well, of course, but is it necessary to include such taxonomical designation in our civil rights legislation?

Liberal lawmakers and talking heads scoff at such reckless exaggerations, but these scare tactics work better than we unclassified, displaced homosexuals would like to admit. Rights are not always guaranteed for minorities, and especially not for homosexuals, who do not have minority designation under the law.

The only quasi-logical justification for protecting the “traditional,” binary definition of marriage is that it ensures continued procreative success for our species. That sounds innocent enough—after all, survival is in our nature, and children of intact nuclear families are statistically better off than “other” children. “Other,” as generalized by Prop 8 proponents during the appellate session, can be defined as children of one or more gay or straight, divorced, widowed, disabled and/or handicapped, unemployed, alcoholic and/or drug-addled, abusive and/or neglectful, single and/or multi-parent households.

If we are to believe these arguments, I propose that we treat them with an equal measure of conviction and absurdity. So, for the sake of posterity, let us accept the premise that people marry to create a family. What would it mean to write such logic into law?

If we define marriage (strictly) as a state-issued license between one man and one woman for the purpose of procreation, and if that guarantees the continued existence of the human race, by all means, write it in stone. I will be the first to sign a petition that guarantees our survival, but we have to be consistent. If we are to implement a federally issued, state-regulated, morality-based mandate on traditional marriage, our parameters must be clearly defined, with no margin for interpretation.

First, states must revamp the marriage application process to weed out ineligible couples. Besides being of “sound mind,” applicants must submit to fertility testing to verify their physiological, reproductive ability. Fertility tests can be administered at the probate court when submitting other required vital records; external test results can be accepted if obtained no more than six months prior to the application date and notarized by an approved clinician and one witness. Applicants found to be infertile and/or unable to produce offspring will be denied based on any or all of the following criteria (includes medical history): erectile dysfunction, previous or expected hysterectomy/vasectomy, low sperm count, ovarian/testicular cancer, certain mental and/or physical disabilities, sterility, menopause, previous miscarriage or abortion, tilted uterus, terminal illness, venereal disease, or traces of birth control in the blood.

In addition, couples must sign a pre-marriage contract relinquishing their rights to divorce, separate, annul, or otherwise terminate their marriage. The contract will also require couples to produce no less than one child every three years. DFACS will conduct unannounced investigations to determine contractual fulfillment; derelicts will be arrested and charged with child endangerment and obstruction of justice. Under no circumstances can the pre-marriage contract be revoked, voided or dissolved; the contract will expire upon the death of one or both applicants. Fertile widowed persons may remarry.

This is all ludicrous, of course, but it illuminates a larger issue. The debate about marriage equality is hardly a debate at all. Arguments against equality are simply arguments for continued ignorance, bigotry and homophobia.

It all comes down to this: states issue marriage licenses, not the church or the federal government, and it is unconstitutional for either the state or federal government to regulate one’s unobtrusive pursuit of happiness. If procreation is the only factor differentiating opposite- and same-sex couples, why not require it? Other than procreation, what is the point of marriage?

Marriage represents so much more than procreation. Firstly, it is a declaration of love between two people. Secondly, it is an easy way for federal and state governments to divvy out privatized extended benefits. When someone marries, divorces, adopts, births or dies, the government simply needs an easy way to say whom gets what and how much.

Besides, getting married is easy in most states; you do not even have to be in love. Vital records in hand, I could propose to a female stranger on the street and the state would rubber-stamp our marriage without hesitation or delay. In an instant, I could be legally bound to a woman with whom I share no connection whatsoever, and she would automatically reap the benefits of being my wife (i.e. Social Security, tax deductions, inheritance, guardianship and hospital visitation rights).

This raises the question—seriously, someone explain to me—of how a loveless, meaningless union to a complete stranger is better than my real marriage to a loving, nurturing, forgiving, honest man with whom I have chosen to build a life?

Is it because we are gay? Is it because we flail our hands when we are excited? Is it because we take care of each other when we are sick, and that just makes you sick? Is it because we choose to be gay and flaunt it?

I take it back—keep your haphazard rationalizations to yourself. Some stranger’s “traditional” heterosexual marriage is no better or worse than mine, nor is my big, “in-your-face” homosexual marriage any better or worse than theirs.

That is the only argument worth making, and it is the only discussion worth having.

jeffreygarris.com

(c) 2013 Jeffrey Garris


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